I hate your face
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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