Where did you get a picture of my penis
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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