shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
