HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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