I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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