Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
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