Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i think i have two assholes
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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