I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
