Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
