so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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