I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
