I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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