HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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