I'm going to jail i love you
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
