Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I can text with my tongue
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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