All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
