I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
