mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
