dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
my being single is dangerous.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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