carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
