omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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