Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
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We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
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I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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