Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
