We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
