It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
