Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
