So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
