I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
she pinky promised me she was 18
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
