I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
