Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
