I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
They are going to name an STD after you.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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