Sry I called you an 8
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
