When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Someone signed my nipple.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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