We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
