So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
