seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
