Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
