My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
