We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
