You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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