70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
