Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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