sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize