The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize