Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize