you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
