Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Fuck appropriateness.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
