is your mom at the bar?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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