I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
