look no pants
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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