Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize