I need help removing her.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
