maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
