My hair reeks of homosexuality.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
