If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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