What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
