Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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