what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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