Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
