And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
