He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
