if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
