Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
