Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
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I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
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Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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