Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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