thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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