He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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