Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Randomize
